Bruce Reyes-Chow - Latest Comments

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Bruce Reyes-Chow — Wed, 12 Feb 2014 01:53:30 -0000

Acknowledging this tension and not letting it paralyze you is about the best modeling you can do. None of this is simple and you have named many of the issues that must be taken into account. I wish there were set rules, but when it comes to how one reacts/responds it's so so subjective. Thank you so much for commenting!

Re: Dear Diary — February 5, 1987

Bruce Reyes-Chow — Wed, 12 Feb 2014 01:50:15 -0000

So funny, my wife accused me of wanting to be him! Could be worse.

Re: Dear Diary — February 5, 1987

Jared Warren — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 13:51:46 -0000

You beat Doogie Howser by 2 years...I guess you've always been a bit of a futurist ;)

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Mary Martone — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 13:05:05 -0000

Bruce, can I ask you a question? I know my responsibilities and realities are different from yours, as a white woman, but I'm trying to figure out my responsibility to respond to people's poor behavior, vs. understanding that some people won't change and just need to be managed. I know that when I have received nasty remarks about being a big homo or fat, I have chosen sometimes to confront people, and that's usually when I feel like one of my kids needs to see me standing up for something, or someone else needs to be protected, or I think that the offender might actually hear it, or they just need to realize that there are consequences to behaving like that, which may involve confrontation and/or embarassment. But other times I decide that it's not a moment where learning or change is going to be facilitated, and the humans of the world will not necesarily benefit from my immediate respoinse, so I let it go. May they live another day to learn. On the other hand, when I am witness to someone being racist or, say, transphobic; oppressions that I do not experience directly, I feel like I'm supposed to confront it every time, otherwise I'm coasting on the privilege to not be bothered enough to take action. But what if I feel like an action in that moment truly wouldn't help or change anything? Is there a different set of rules for different people, like white people never ever using certain words (a rule I am 100% in support of)? Is grace something we are supposed to/get to flex in regard to direct personal pain and oppression, but a more consistant outward advocacy should prevail in others' defense? I don't want to be the person people stop listening to because my responses are perceived of as aggressive, but I don't want to be shamed by that concern into not being brave for my friends. Any wisdom is welcome.

Re: Top 12 Things Presbyterians Should do Before They Die

JP — Tue, 05 Nov 2013 00:42:05 -0000

re: #10 "BTW, did you know that MLK spoke at Montreat?" I can't help but add a BTW to your BTW...did you know that MLK wasn't allowed to stay at Montreat and he had to be escorted in by police when he preached there because of the color of his skin?

"So here we are moving toward the exit of the twentieth century with a
religious community largely adjusted to the status quo, standing as a tail-light
behind other community agencies rather than a headlight leading men to higher
levels of justice." -MLK jr. 4/16/63 Letter From Birmingham Jail

Re: Where to Find Presbyterians on Twitter

Laura Hedgecock — Tue, 29 Oct 2013 11:58:08 -0000

Thanks so much Bruce, I'll take you up on that.

We appreciate the support.

Re: Where to Find Presbyterians on Twitter

Bruce Reyes-Chow — Tue, 29 Oct 2013 11:44:05 -0000

If you all have a blog post directing folks to particual palces or want to tweet things out I'd be more than willing to share in my networks. Feel free to ping me as I don't always see everything.

Re: Where to Find Presbyterians on Twitter

Laura Hedgecock — Tue, 29 Oct 2013 11:36:36 -0000

Hi Bruce,

Very helpful post.

I'm part of the communications team for the Committee of Local Arrangements for GA221 and curate @DetroitCOLA. Do you have any tips on finding those Presbyterians interested in the local aspects of #GA221? We'd like to reach as many commissioners as possible.

Thanks
Laura Hedgecock

Re: Free Speech, Political Correctness and Feelings of the Other

Bruce Reyes-Chow — Wed, 11 Sep 2013 20:58:18 -0000

Just one more for the story book ;-) We all have those "Whoa, where did that come from?" moment. Thanks for sharing yours!

Re: Free Speech, Political Correctness and Feelings of the Other

Guinness Girl — Wed, 11 Sep 2013 20:54:42 -0000

My husband and I grew up in the '80s and occasionally joked around and said that "Valley girl" thing: "Oh mah gah. That is so queer." What's horrible is that I just slipped up and said this in jest in front of our teenage daughter, who is gay. She was gracious and just rolled her eyes and said, "MOM. Seriously? You need to strike that from your vocabulary." Of course I do. It's just a (terrible and insensitive) unthinking thing that came out of my mouth. It never will again. But I'm pretty sure the worst parent award has my name all over it.

Re: Top 12 Things Presbyterians Should do Before They Die

Ted Coppock — Sun, 08 Sep 2013 20:45:22 -0000

Done!

Re: I Hate Blog Lists or Bruce’s Top 10 List of Blogs You Should Read

Becca — Fri, 30 Aug 2013 23:46:16 -0000

Thank you, Bruce. I'm honored to be a part of your list. I, too, am an awful blog reader - working on this ;)

Thanks for linking to everyone! Heading over to check everyone out now!

Re: I Hate Blog Lists or Bruce’s Top 10 List of Blogs You Should Read

jbecker — Fri, 30 Aug 2013 10:14:37 -0000

People still...what do you call it? Web log? Blog? ;-)

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Gordon Lindsey — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 20:36:35 -0000

Bruce: I deeply appreciate this post. When I was a seminary student some 40 years ago, I worked one summer in a summer camp serving primarily inner-city kids from New York. On the last day of the season, the camp treated all the counselors to a banquet in a nearby restaurant. The camp director asked if I would drive one of the station wagons, as I was old enough to drive.
After the dinner, we were returning to camp. I was driving through one of those picturesque small towns in upstate New York. The car was filled with black counselors. I, a white person, was driving. Suddenly a police car flashed its lights, signaling to me to pull over. I couldn't imagine what traffic law I had broken as I was driving carefully. I rolled down the window to get ready to deal with the policeman.
I will never forget the look of shock and horror on his face when he noticed that I, the driver, was white. It was not what he had clearly expected. He angrily asked who in the car had called him a fuzz. I assured him no one had. He was not really reassured, but he reluctantly motioned us to move on. He gave us a final warning to speak to policemen with respect.
It was a blatant example of racism. And I realized that I, a white person, had just experienced what many blacks experienced and still experience repeatedly. As a result, I believe when blacks complain about police harassment. I had just experienced it, and I have never forgotten that experience. I wish more whites were to experience what I did that night. It might change their attitudes as it certainly did mine.

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Katherine Fan — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 16:00:10 -0000

I'll have to check out your books as well!

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Bruce Reyes-Chow — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:59:09 -0000

You are very welcome and thanks for taking the time to comment.

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Bruce Reyes-Chow — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:58:45 -0000

Thanks. Glad it spoke to you as I know this is not a unique story for anyone outside "the norm" -- but we keep on.

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Katherine Fan — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:30:52 -0000

This post was incredible, and speaks a ton to where I've been as well as to where I see (on a much more extreme scale) many of my Latino and black friends treated. Thank you.

Re: I Hate Blog Lists or Bruce’s Top 10 List of Blogs You Should Read

Laura Garwood Meehan — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 14:55:52 -0000

I loved Lauren's blog too, when I ran across it. I think she is awesome, as someone who values being transparent.

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Sarika — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 12:29:51 -0000

Hi, Someone on my Facebook friend's list posted this article. I'm so glad that she did. I'm an Indian-American christian, and although I'm not a pastor, I could relate a lot to what you wrote in this article. I'm so glad that you are talking openly about these kinds of things. All too often, we don't talk about them.

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

brianleport — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 11:30:00 -0000

Yes, indeed. All is well, though I live far away in San Antonio, TX, now. I wish I could trot on down to Java again to grab a drink. I miss San Francisco.

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Bruce Reyes-Chow — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 11:29:11 -0000

Thanks. I am glad the book could be helpful and thanks for the continued support.

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Bruce Reyes-Chow — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 11:28:04 -0000

That's what we adults need sometimes: a time out. Thanks for sharing!

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Bruce Reyes-Chow — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 11:27:24 -0000

Thanks Brian. Seems like forever since we met up at Java on Ocean (It was Java, right?). Hope you are well.

Re: How I Survive Everyday Racism

Bruce Reyes-Chow — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 11:26:36 -0000

I know right . . . there are actually a few of us Asian guys (also an Asian women group) we are often mistaken for one another. My lovely Presbyterian family.